The Official Blog of Debra Gano: CEO of BYOU, Author of Heartlight Girls Book Series & Self-Esteem Expert

The other evening around 8:00 PM, my 7-year-old daughter and I sat down to watch a DVD of the American Girl movie "Chrissa" (which I highly recommend, it’s about school bullying). To get the TV on the right channel for the DVD,  we had to travel through a few channels. We were stopped in our tracks as we saw, on a Primetime station, two women dressed in skimpy leopard-print lingerie and fishnet stockings (with camera close-ups!), slithering and handcuffing another women (un)dressed even more provocatively on a stage (it was a magic show). 

I would’ve been shocked to see this at 2:00 AM, yet to see this with my daughter at 8:00 PM in the evening not only angered me, but actually saddened me. I was able to stand there with my daughter and talk her through it, but I thought about all the girls out there (and boys, it’s confusing for them too!) who didn’t have parents present or concerned enough to buffer and/or clarify what they were seeing. We, as adults, can discern time and place appropriateness of such things, yet it’s no wonder our girls, who see similar wardrobes on their Barbie and Bratz dolls, are desensitized to the blatant sexuality of it all. And then they want to copy the look in their own wardrobes! And worse yet, the behavior. And to top it off, even our favorable sweet characters like Dora the Explorer and Strawberry Shortcake are now getting sexy new makeovers.

So what are we, as parents, to do? Ideally it would be to change the media and what is shown on television, especially during “family hours.” While one of my goals with Heartlight Girls is to create this change, it’s a long and lengthy process. In the meantime, we have to work on an individual level with our children.

As a first and obvious step, be sure to monitor how much TV your child watches and, very importantly, what they are watching. Try not to let them watch unknown programs unattended. Let them know that just because they see it on TV, it’s not reality or how the world is (or should be). Hey, even the so-called “reality” shows are not reality! Teach them that certain things on TV are done/said only to get a laugh, increase ratings for the network, or sell a product for the advertiser, and chances are, might not be appropriate behavior.

Since we can’t count on TV to provide us with healthy role models for our kids, it’s even more crucial that we become good role models for them, as well as consciously surrounding them with other positive role models. Our children can have positive influences in their lives, it’s just up to us to be mindful and take the time and energy to provide them with those.