Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category

Folders, pencils, notebooks – check. New backpack – check. Outfits both mom and daughter can agree on – check.  Haircut to trim the chlorine-damaged ends – check. Strong sense of self and healthy self-esteem – ummm, well, maybe not!

It’s getting to be that time of year again when we give up some play time to scramble to get ready for back-to-school. With all the busy preparations, don’t forget the most important one you can do for your child is to begin a new school year with a strong sence of self and healthy self-esteem. With a child being bullied every 7 minutes today in our schools, this proactive element could never be more essential!

To help you empower your daughter and build her self-esteem, I invite you to join me on a free teleclass I’ve been asked to give by the Global TeleClass Network.  I’m honored to be featured along side such inspirational legends as Mark Victor Hansen, T. Harv Eker, Bob Proctor and many others. Below is a description of my class on August 25 – be sure to sign up early as space is limited! And also check out all the other classes offered – all free for you to enjoy from the comfort of your home.

Stay posted as Heartlight Girls brings you more for back-to-school to be “empowered from the inside out!”

ASK DEBRA: Self-Esteem…Is it too late?

I often get emails from readers who have a question or an issue they would like some advice on, and occasionally I have one that I would love to share, knowing that it could help others in a similar situation. I’ve decided to post them on my blog as an "ASK DEBRA" feature. If you have an issue you would like to "ask Debra" about, please email me at Debra@HeartlightGirls.com. I will do my best to respond personally to all emails but please know it may not always be immediate and not always possible due to my schedule.

This email came from a woman in California named Susan, titled "Please help." I am reprinting here with her permission:

Q: My daughter became pregnant at 16, she is now 18, her baby girl is 1 y/o.  I feel what I really missed as a parent is giving her self esteem.  Is it too late?  Is there anything you can offer that I can try? She has moved in with a boyfriend and just not happy with anything in her life and I believe it all goes back to her self esteem, I had the same issues and made the same bad choices until I started working on myself. By then she was mostly grown…  please help so we can stop the cycle….

 A very Happy Father’s Day to all Heartlight dads! While we talk a lot about the role moms play in a girl’s life, we also want to acknowledge the very important role dads play, too.

Dads, your positive influence in your daughter’s life is essential to her self-esteem and her future relationships. In my book, Beauty’s Secret, A Girl’s Discovery of Inner Beauty, the main character’s dad innocently teases her about her eyes, only to have Beauty become self-conscious about them, especially in the self-questioning teenage years. I wrote this in because my dad liked (and still does!) to tease me, it’s just his way fo relating, as it is with so many dads. But often I believed it as truth, especially when the insecurities rose. It was only when I learned my own truth of who I truly am that I was able to step back from this and see it was his way of showing his love. My goal with girls is to have them learn this same truth about themselves at a much younger age than I did, so they don’t have to carry any false belief (whether it be planted from a parent, teacher, or peer) about themselves into adulthood.

So, dads, please know that your daughter is paying attention to everything you say and do, and that you mean the world to her (even though she may not act like it sometimes!) By helping her to build her self-worth though the formative years, you help her to make future wise choices and set her up for a lifetime of inner security and happiness. And for that, we thank you, and for your committment to your daughter’s well-being. And Heartlight Girls, if you can, give your dad an extra big hug this Father’s Day! My dad lives in another state, so I’m sending him an energetic hug and saying, "Love you Dad! And thanks for the lessons!"

The other evening around 8:00 PM, my 7-year-old daughter and I sat down to watch a DVD of the American Girl movie "Chrissa" (which I highly recommend, it’s about school bullying). To get the TV on the right channel for the DVD,  we had to travel through a few channels. We were stopped in our tracks as we saw, on a Primetime station, two women dressed in skimpy leopard-print lingerie and fishnet stockings (with camera close-ups!), slithering and handcuffing another women (un)dressed even more provocatively on a stage (it was a magic show). 

I would’ve been shocked to see this at 2:00 AM, yet to see this with my daughter at 8:00 PM in the evening not only angered me, but actually saddened me. I was able to stand there with my daughter and talk her through it, but I thought about all the girls out there (and boys, it’s confusing for them too!) who didn’t have parents present or concerned enough to buffer and/or clarify what they were seeing. We, as adults, can discern time and place appropriateness of such things, yet it’s no wonder our girls, who see similar wardrobes on their Barbie and Bratz dolls, are desensitized to the blatant sexuality of it all. And then they want to copy the look in their own wardrobes! And worse yet, the behavior. And to top it off, even our favorable sweet characters like Dora the Explorer and Strawberry Shortcake are now getting sexy new makeovers. Read the rest of this entry »