It is with great joy and delight that I announce the premier of Be Your Own You magazine, where we celebrate our differences and the right for EVERY girl to feel good about who she is, where girls support girls instead of tearing each other down. In every issue, you’ll find exclusive interviews with today’s positive role models, empowering stories about girls who are making a difference in the world, powerful self-esteem tips & projects, fun games & puzzles, inspirational fiction, contests, and lots more, including opportunities for girls themselves to be featured!

Please consider getting a special girl in your life this empowering magazine with much-needed messages girls need in today’s world. We are offering a SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY PRICE of ONLY $10 for an annual subscription THIS WEEK. This extraordinary price expires Saturday, October 8, at midnight (after that you can still get  your annual subscription for our regular price of $17.97), so hurry to take advantage of this amazing offer!

CLICK HERE TO ORDER YOUR $10 SUBSCRIPTION!

Here’s what you’ll find in our PREMIERE October/November Issue:

* EXCLUSIVE interview with singer/dancer/actress & girls’ empowerment advocate Cymphonique Miller!
* Inspiring story of “Warrior Princess” – a 14-year old cancer survivor who is making an impact on girls everywhere!
* Powerful article on positive thinking with easy instructions on a fun self-esteem project you can do!
* Fun puzzles, brain teasers, and jokes in Puzzle-Palooza!
* Girls sharing what it means to “be your own you” (with YOUR opportunity to be featured next!)
* Never-before-seen On Location With BYOU photos!
* FREE first chapter of the award-winning book “Beauty’s Secret: A Girl’s Discovery of Inner Beauty” plus Beauty’s tips for inner and outer beauty to keep your Heartlight shining bright!
* I Am Poem Contest, Color Me BYOU, and so much more!!

Hurry, you don’t want to miss an issue of this empowering NEW magazine for girls ages 6-16!

Get your subscription today at:

https://shop.beyourownyou.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=MAG

OR ORDER BY PHONE TOLL-FREE  BY CALLING 855- BUY-BYOU (855-289-2968)

ALSO! Email us the name & address of your school library and we’ll be sure to send them a FREE year’s subscription! Email the information to support@beyourownyou.com.

With their permission, I’m sharing this article below, with the intention to bring awareness to parents of tweens/teens in the hopes of them taking a more preventative role in building the self-esteem in their children before they are faced with the consequences of not doing so.

Despite the bounty of information at its disposal, mainstream society still doesn’t exactly understand mental illness…

Eating disorders especially end up on the receiving end of frequent stereotyping and misunderstanding — a very dangerous phenomenon, considering how they can quickly turn fatal when left unchecked. College students comprise the condition’s largest demographic, so educating both students and the society they inhabit is crucial for their health, happiness and safety. By no means should one take this article as anything even remotely approaching medical advice. Rather, use it as an introduction to a few facts about bulimia, anorexia, binge eating disorder and EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified). From here, make further inquiries into the realities faced by sufferers and the people who love them. Making an effort to empathize with their plight might very well save lives someday.

1. It’s not just women who suffer: Eating disorders are often stereotyped as the exclusive realm of the ladyfolk — a dangerous mindset preventing male victims from receiving necessary psychotherapy. In reality, between 1% and 7% of college-age men suffer from anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder or EDNOS. But the numbers might actually sit higher than that, as stigmas unfairly painting the diseases as inherently feminine prevent them from admitting the problem and seeking out the mental help needed to survive.

2. The staggering majority of female college students diet: Ninety-one percent in fact, regardless of whether or not they genuinely need to be concerned about their weight. Not all diets are eating disorders, nor do all eating disorders manifest themselves as extreme dieting. Such conditions don’t always necessarily stem from a desire to be thin, of course, but overlap does occur. Some cases — though in no way every — do begin life as obsessive dieting, so it is relevant to look at statistics reflecting this.

3. College women are even more vulnerable to eating disorders than one would think: By this point, most people are aware that women between the ages of 17 and 24 are the most likely to be treated for and diagnosed with an eating disorder. In the general public, the statistic posits about 15% of this demographic suffers. But once college factors into the equation, it shoots up to 40%. Hardly surprising, considering the significant amount of stress involved — especially in cases where eating disorders manifest as a coping mechanism.

4. It’s often comorbid with other disorders: In college and the real world alike, eating disorders rarely wreak havoc alone. Anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder and EDNOS usually co-exist with depression, anxiety, substance abuse and/or compulsive issues. Oftentimes, the symptoms associated with these conditions are signs of something larger and more serious at play than just problems with diet and nutrition. Social stigmas against anything above a size 6 are only a very minute facet of a far more complex mental health problem.

5. Relationships impact eating disorders: And not just those where one or more partners spout off abusive rhetoric about body shape and size, either. Individuals in unhealthy relationships, whether they be overly clingy or outright physically traumatic, run a much higher risk of suffering from eating disorders than their peers enjoying more stable ones. The depression and anxiety associated with such unfortunate arrangements can trigger these conditions as a means of calming and forgetting the issue at hand.

6. Sexual assault and rape victims are more likely to develop eating disorders: This correlation exists outside of college campuses, however, but the demographic most vulnerable to eating disorders also happens to be more likely to end up sexually assaulted and raped. Thanks to an unforgiving society that shames and guilt trips female and male victims alike, anxiety and depression run rampant. So it makes sense that eating disorders would also plague them at a higher rate, as bulimia, anorexia and the like provide immediate (albeit unhealthy and nonviable) comfort for a persistent problem.

7. Binging and purging may correlate with previous suicide attempts: At least one study suggests that eating disorder victims engaging in a binge-and-purge pattern are more likely to have previously attempted suicide. Those with anorexia are more likely to suffer from suicidal thoughts. Again, a broader study sheds considerable light on the experiences of a smaller demographic. Because of the staggering amount of college students crushed beneath eating disorders, it makes sense that many of them would suffer from the accompanying suicidal ideas and behaviors as well.

8. Nutrition facts can actually trigger victims: Newsweek ran an article about eating disorders on campus in 2009, opening with a particularly poignant perspective most people — in college or otherwise — might never consider. For the eating disordered, seeing campuses publicly display nutrition facts run the risk of triggering trauma during the recovery period. Those whose conditions manifest themselves as obsessive dieting and calorie-counting are especially vulnerable, as exposure to such information reminds them of their destructive obsession. Harvard University removed calorie count cards from its dining halls out of respect for its disordered students.

9. A staggering amount of victims vomit, resort to extreme diets and/or use laxatives: Whether suffering from bulimia, anorexia, EDNOS or some combination thereof, 38% of college students (both male and female) have forced vomiting, used laxatives and/or extreme vomiting in order to lose weight. Researchers think an increased emphasis on combating obesity might influence their harsh decisions, although plenty of other issues — such as the previously-mentioned depression, anxiety and sexual violence victimhood factor into it as well.

10. A fringe eating disorder movement actively encourages the disease: Neither the Pro-Ana nor Pro-Mia movements typically go out and recruit members, but they do dangerously encourage disordered eating habits. Most — but not all — adherents are either in college or of college age, and the philosophy paints the truly horrifying disease as a lifestyle choice to be accepted rather than a mental illness to be treated. Communities both online and off trade “thinspiration” pictures, advice and encouragement for the fastest (and oftentimes most devastating) weight loss tips. It’s an extremely destructive mindset, one colleges must take more seriously and address more often.

11. Binge eating disorder is a real thing: Most individuals and organizations typically think of bulimia and anorexia when the subject of eating disorders crop up. But binge eating disorder — an often overlooked member of the family — can also cause serious problems during the college years (and beyond). Stemming from the exact same anxiety, depression and stress as conditions seeking thinness, BED instead involves taking in too much food as a coping mechanism.

12. Twenty is the most common age of onset: Around 86% of bulimics estimate they first experienced symptoms at age 20. Between the ages of 16 and 20, the number drops to 43%. By freshmen year, between 4.5% and 18% of female and .4% of male students start classes with a history of bulimia, compared to 1% for women with anorexia. Once again, the reasons behind why this happens are as varied as the victims themselves, though the dangers remain the same.

13. Anorexia and bulimia kill more than people realize: Between 10% and 25% of anorexia patients die because of complications arising from the condition. The full recovery rate of eating disorders in general sits at a sadly low 60%, with 20% only partially coming back and 20% never healing at all — or making only negligible progress.

14. Race might have an effect on how eating disorders manifest: Research published in the International Journal of Eating Disorders noted at least one difference in the way weight loss-related eating disorders occur in white and African-American female college students. Many members of the latter demographic typically struggled with real weight and size problems and suffered worse the more they absorbed themselves in mainstream society. Their Caucasian counterparts rarely experienced onset because of a preexisting weight condition. Both, however, frequently exhibited the signs and symptoms of depressive, anxiety or compulsive issues alongside their eating disorders.

15. Online intervention might be a valid prevention option: For the harried, college-aged eating disordered, an online psychiatric regimen might very well pique their recovery. Developed at Stanford University, the online program sought out high-risk women — specifically, college-aged women — and effectively prevented many from slipping into anorexia, bulimia or EDNOS. Participants with a BMI at 25 or over did not develop any eating disorder symptoms after 2 years, compared to 11.9% of their peers. Amongst women already suffering the early stages, 14% ended up diagnosed with an eating disorder within 2 years, compared to 30% of nonparticipants. The program, consisting of reading materials, moderated discussions and daily journals, might very well fulfill a valuable role on college campuses and beyond.

"It's What's Inside That Counts" - Beauty's Secret (Heartlight Girls Book 1)

Recently I had an opportunity to spend some extended quality time with my mom. She lives in another state so it was a special treat for both of us.  What I most enjoyed was seeing the shift that had taken place within her, a new peacefulness I had not seen before. Challenged by many years of anxiety and emotional pain due to a lifetime of low self-worth, she had lived in two worlds – the world she presented externally and the other she lived internally. Now, through a gradual evolution of self, it seems these two worlds have merged, offering her much-welcome congruency and peace…and for that, I could not be happier.

And so I wonder, what could her life have been like had she found this peace earlier? Or what would her life be like next week or next year if she had never found it? And what would my childhood have been like had she had this stronger sense of self that she could’ve role modeled to her children?

My own journey of self-love and respect didn’t begin until my late 30’s, and was (unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your perspective!) self-taught through challenges and life-threatening experiences (to hear more of this journey, watch my video HERE). My mission, and what I feel is my purpose in life, is fueled by the passion to help as many girls as possible to have healthier and less dramatic ways to learn to love and respect themselves – including helping mothers who can then themselves be happy, balanced, and emotionally-healthy role models for their daughters.

So on this upcoming holiday where we honor our ever-important and deserving mothers, I urge every mother to also honor herself, and not just on Mother’s Day, but every day – and in doing so, you will also teach your daughter a very important life lesson. As mothers, we want the best for our family, of course; yet that is often translated into giving so much of ourselves that who we are and what we need gets neglected. We feel overwhelmed, our issues remain unresolved, we struggle with our own feelings of disconnect and inadequacy, and very often, at some point we don’t even recognize ourselves anymore. How can we be good for our family if we are not good for ourselves?

Know what’s important to you. Check in. Find ways you can find yourself. Ask for help. And take time to ask yourself the important questions (those are not the “What shall I make for dinner” questions), and then be sure to listen for the answers. My daughter has accepted the fact that her mommy needs “quiet time” even when she’d much rather prefer me to be attentive to her. Any guilt I have about doing this is alleviated when I remind myself how important this is, for by taking care of me helps me to be a healthier caretaker and role model for her.

This Mother’s Day, I send my love, appreciation, blessings, and utmost respect to all mothers -and to my own special mom, know how proud I am of you and how much I will always love you.

Denver-area Moms! Celebrate Mother’s Day with a special girl(s) in your life! Join us Saturday, May 7, from 1:30-4:30 pm at the Brown Palace for a “Mommy & Me Tea: A Mother/Daughter Self-Esteem Experience!” CLICK HERE for more information and to register.

Having heard Demi’s name mentioned in the news, my eight-year-old daughter’s ears perked up and she exclaimed, “I love Demi Lovato! What are they saying about her?” Not wanting to completely taint my daughter’s image of this perpetually big-grinned teen star, I explained to her that Demi struggles with feelings of low self-worth and will sometimes do harmful and negative things to herself. My daughter, finding it difficult to understand how this confident-appearing favorite of hers could ever suffer from low self-esteem, responded, “But, Mom, she always looks so happy and sure of herself!”

 Demi’s disclosure on her issues is yet another example that “having it all” does not guarantee happiness or love for ourselves. I found that out during the years I personally spent working in the modeling and acting industries, and learned that true feelings of self-worth can only come from within (to hear the whole story, click here). This is the message I so passionately teach our girls.

Many don’t yet know what cutting is, so I wanted to bring awareness of what it is and offer preventative measures so it doesn’t become an issue in YOUR life.

Much like the “Mean Girl” trend, cutting is  increasing as an unhealthy self-harmful “trendy” behavior, especially with girls. Self-harm typically starts at about age 14, but more cases of kids as young as 11 or 12 doing it show up daily. As more and more kids become aware of it, more kids are trying it.

When a girl “cuts” herself, typically it is self-inflicted straight-line cuts with a sharp object, often parallel like railroad ties, carved into forearm, upper arms, and sometimes the legs. Some girls cut words into themselves, like if they’re having body image issues, they may cut the word ‘fat,’ or if they’re having trouble at school, it may be ‘stupid,’ ‘loser,’ or a big ‘L.’

Self-injury is a coping strategy for feelings of low self-worth and unhappiness. Parents often mistake cutting for suicidal behavior, but psychiatrists believe that self-injury has an effect similar to cocaine and other drugs that release endorphins to create a feel-good feeling. Children in emotional pain cause physical external pain to themselves so they won’t feel their internal pain as much.

And much like a drug addition, cutting typically escalates over time, with more frequent episodes and more cuts each time, because it takes more cutting to get the same relief.

Self-injury begins as a defense against what’s going on in a child’s internal and external life. If emotions and situations feel overwhelming, if they have failed in an area of their lives, of if they struggle for self-identity, this is a way to get “control” and blunt their emotional pain. Very often, girls who self-harm also have an eating disorder and tend to be sensitive, perfectionists, and overachievers.

Our work as mentors of children, and my mission in the work I do with girls, is preventative. Just like keeping our bodies healthy daily with good sleep and nutrition to ward off sickness, we want to daily nurture our own/our child’s self-esteem. And in this case, little things CAN make a difference!

We make choices every day how we handle difficult situation and how to help our children cope with the pain they are experiencing. If a child tells us she feels hurt for others teasing her, we can tell her that she is too sensitive and needs to get on with things, or we can listen to her and see what it is others are saying which is causing her pain. If she says she is unhappy or feels unloved, we can tell her to stop complaining and appreciate all the good things, or we can ask her to explain why and learn from her. If she tells us she feels judged by the comments we make, we can tell her she takes things too personally, or we can listen to her and try to be more accepting and less judgmental.

Be mindful and aware every day. Your responses to what may seem to you like a trivial thing could lead to either empowering her or leading her to seek other ways to numb her pain. Don’t wait to be proactive until she experiences mood changes like depression or anxiety, out-of-control behavior, changes in relationships, communication, and school performance – by then, she is suffering and in pain, and looking for ways to cope with that pain.

Children face so much today, and their emotional capacity to handle things is still immature and vulnerable. Whether they act like it or not, every child needs a strong support system to empower them “from the inside out.” 

It’s getting to be that time of year again when we give up some play time to scramble to get ready for back-to-school. With all the busy preparations, don’t forget the most important one you can do for your child is to begin a new school year with a strong sence of self and healthy self-esteem. With a child being bullied every 7 minutes today in our schools, this proactive element could never be more essential!

To help you empower your daughter and build her self-esteem, I invite you to join me on a free teleclass I’ve been asked to give by the Global TeleClass Network.  I’m honored to be featured along side such inspirational legends as Mark Victor Hansen, T. Harv Eker, Bob Proctor and many others. Below is a description of my class on August 25 – be sure to sign up early as space is limited! And also check out all the other classes offered – all free for you to enjoy from the comfort of your home.

Stay posted as Heartlight Girls brings you more for back-to-school to be “empowered from the inside out!”

PLEASE take 30 seconds and vote for my show, it’s truly essential that you do for it to get noticed. There are over 7,500 submissions at this point, many who entered early and have been able to gather a ton of votes, so I’ve got lots of catching up to do! The good news is that you can vote MULTIPLE times and it’s really easy to do (no signing up, just voting!) Voting closes July 3, so please, VOTE ASAP and VOTE OFTEN…and ask your friends to vote too (how about inviting your Facebook friends to vote?!) We’ve got to create a buzz for Oprah and her producers to notice, and we all know how important a show Empowering Girls From the Inside Out would be!

And if you (please!) add a comment to your vote, it will create even more of a buzz. Let’s show Oprah and her producers how essential it is to give our youth today, especially our girls, the attention they need and deserve to become the powerful women our world needs tomorrow.

Here’s the link to the video and to vote:    http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html?request=video_details&response_id=19866&promo_id=1 

Please vote, it’s urgent, and important. And pass this along to your friends…and ask them to pass it along to their friends…who pass it along to their friends…you get the idea And don’t forget, you can vote numerous times through July 3rd. Thank you SO MUCH for your support!

We are looking for participants to feature in a few videos we are filming which will share the challenges girls face today with self-esteem. This can be your opportunity to help others, and have fun getting some national exposure! On-camera interviews will take place in the Denver area June 17-19. Here’s what we are looking for:

1. Heartlight Girls/Teens - Girls ages 7 & over and teens who are familiar with the “Heartlight” concept (meaning you’ve read Beauty’s Secret: A Girl’s Discovery of Inner Beauty and/or you’ve attended a Heartlight Girls program) and can speak about shining your light bright – as well as how/where you feel challenged sometimes in doing so. Parents of these girls to be interviewed as well if possible.

2. Girls who are experiencing issues, such as bullying, low self-esteem & low self-worth, body image issues, friendship problems, eating disorders, self-injurious behavior, suicide thoughts or attempts, etc. Extreme cases can be filmed with your identity hidden if preferred.

3. Parents concerned with what their daughters & other girls are facing today, i.e. bullying, unhealthy media, negative role models, peer pressure, etc.

4. Elementary/Middle School Counselors, Principals, Teachers – who can speak about the increase, drama, and dangers of bullying and other girl issues in their schools and in schools today

5. Doctors, Psychologists, Therapists – who work with girls/women and can speak about the dangers of low self-esteem

6. Are you a girl, or do you know one, who is doing amazing and powerful things that will inspire others? We’d love to interview and feature you!

If you, or someone you know, fits one of these categories, is in the Denver area, and can film a brief interview, please email me ASAP at debragano@aol.com. Please let me know your name, email, phone number, category you fit into, age (girls/teens only), and the topic or issue you would like to discuss. Also…for the girls/teens/parents segment, please let me know if you are available Saturday, June 19, between 2-5 pm. We will be doing much of this segment during and following the Mile Hi Children’s Festival which takes place from 10-3 pm that day at Mile Hi Church, 9077 W. Alameda Ave. Lakewood, CO 80226. It’s a fun festival so you can come out early and join the activities – I’ll be there autographing and having a great PRE-SALE SPECIAL on my next book, Star’s Attraction: A Girl’s Discovery of Inner Power!

Interviews with school educators, professionals, and girls with difficult issues will be filmed privately, most likely on Thursday, June 17 or Friday, June 18, your location or ours (TBD when setting up interview).

This truly is an exciting project and we’d love to involve you! Please email me soon if you’re interested in participating. And stay posted, I’ll fill you in more on things soon. If you’re not already connecting with me on my Facebook Fan Page, you’ll want to, as info/news/opportunities, etc. get posted on there almost daily! Here’s the link to “Like”:

  www.Facebook.com/HeartlightGirls 

(For Twitter fans: www.Twitter.com/HeartlightGirls)

As you may know, I’m quite passionate about building the self-esteem of young girls, and as a national speaker and the author of the Heartlight Girls series, I’ve always felt the motivation to do so. Yet as I write this today on my daughter’s eighth birthday (Happy Birthday Ella!), it is in my role as a mother that my passion, and compassion, is fueled even more to make a difference in girls’ lives. With much recent news of teen suicides attributed to depression and relational aggression/bullying, my concern for our youth is magnified, as I’m sure it is with many other parents.

Recent statistics show that every 7 minutes a child is bullied, and that 77% of students are bullied mentally, verbally, or physically. Bullying causes feelings of rejection, anxiety, and unworthiness in a child; these are some of the same feelings which are the main causes of suicide. The Center for Disease Control reports that the third leading cause of death, behind accidents and homicide, amongst teenagers ages 15 to 24 is suicide.  Even more disturbing is the fact that suicide is the fourth leading cause of death for children between the ages of 10 and 14. Self-esteem issues and bullying are worse than ever in today’s schools, and unfortunately often beginning as early as first and second grade and magnifying in the upper elementary and middle school years.

It is with these disturbing facts that I ask your assistance. I dealt with my share of bullying while working in the modeling and acting industries, and it was a challenge even as an adult. But to know our children deal with it on a daily basis breaks my heart. So Heartlight Girls is taking a stand against school bullying. In addition to writing the Heartlight Girls series (the next book, Star’s Attraction: A Girl’s Discovery on Inner Beauty, is due out near the holidays!) and developing products, I’m also building a series of expansive self-esteem programs to develop feelings of self-worth in our girls. And I’d really like your help.

I’d love to know your concerns, your needs, and your desires. What would be helpful to you, and what do you feel would be important in a self-esteem program? Please take a few minutes to share your thoughts by taking a brief survey at http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/LT3Y535. Please pass this link along to others (parents, teachers, girls), for the more input we receive, the better we can create what you would like to see, as well as incorporate what’s needed to help our youth to stay strong, empowered, and in a position to always make wise choices.

By completing this survey, in addition to being a contributor in this important mission, you’ll be entered into a drawing to receive tickets for you and a guest to attend one of the Heartlight Girls Self-Esteem programs! Girls receiving this email can take the survey themselves, share it with a parent, or ideally, have both of you take it! Then we’ll have double the input, and your family will have double the chances of winning!

Again, here’s the link to the survey: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/LT3Y535. Thank you for your participation. Your opinion will shape the young girls we work with here at Heartlight Girls!

 Star’s Attraction

A Girl’s Discovery of Inner Power

It’s the story of a girl named Star who has an exciting dream she wants to pursue, but becomes intimated by those around her that tease her and say her dream is “too big.” She gets discouraged and starts to believe the critical things others say about her, until one day, she is visited by a mysterious horse, and of course, her Heartlight Angel, who help her realize that anything is possible, as long as you believe in yourself…

Scheduled for release Fall 2010, pre-orders will begin in several months. Stay posted for other sneak peeks as my illustrator Dawn Pitre continues to do her magic…(and if you like horses, you’re going to love this book!!!)