It is with great joy and delight that I announce the premier of Be Your Own You magazine, where we celebrate our differences and the right for EVERY girl to feel good about who she is, where girls support girls instead of tearing each other down. In every issue, you’ll find exclusive interviews with today’s positive role models, empowering stories about girls who are making a difference in the world, powerful self-esteem tips & projects, fun games & puzzles, inspirational fiction, contests, and lots more, including opportunities for girls themselves to be featured!

Please consider getting a special girl in your life this empowering magazine with much-needed messages girls need in today’s world. We are offering a SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY PRICE of ONLY $10 for an annual subscription THIS WEEK. This extraordinary price expires Saturday, October 8, at midnight (after that you can still get  your annual subscription for our regular price of $17.97), so hurry to take advantage of this amazing offer!

CLICK HERE TO ORDER YOUR $10 SUBSCRIPTION!

Here’s what you’ll find in our PREMIERE October/November Issue:

* EXCLUSIVE interview with singer/dancer/actress & girls’ empowerment advocate Cymphonique Miller!
* Inspiring story of “Warrior Princess” – a 14-year old cancer survivor who is making an impact on girls everywhere!
* Powerful article on positive thinking with easy instructions on a fun self-esteem project you can do!
* Fun puzzles, brain teasers, and jokes in Puzzle-Palooza!
* Girls sharing what it means to “be your own you” (with YOUR opportunity to be featured next!)
* Never-before-seen On Location With BYOU photos!
* FREE first chapter of the award-winning book “Beauty’s Secret: A Girl’s Discovery of Inner Beauty” plus Beauty’s tips for inner and outer beauty to keep your Heartlight shining bright!
* I Am Poem Contest, Color Me BYOU, and so much more!!

Hurry, you don’t want to miss an issue of this empowering NEW magazine for girls ages 6-16!

Get your subscription today at:

https://shop.beyourownyou.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=MAG

OR ORDER BY PHONE TOLL-FREE  BY CALLING 855- BUY-BYOU (855-289-2968)

ALSO! Email us the name & address of your school library and we’ll be sure to send them a FREE year’s subscription! Email the information to support@beyourownyou.com.

I’m very honored and excited to be included in the amazing line-up of world-renowned experts featured in the Who Am I Not To Be Telesummit that begins this Monday, September 26. This is an incredibly transformational on-line series that YOU can listen to and seriously benefit from – all for FREE! You will have the opportunity to enjoy 23 sessions of empowering advice and tips from world-class experts, such as Lisa Nichols, Marci Shimoff, Dr. Bernie Siegel, Yours Truly (Listen as I discuss “Who Am I Not To Be Empowered!), and so many more – all for FREE! And it’s so easy to sign up!

All you have to do is register here:  http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?Clk=4460885

Simple tips to make you beautiful  … empowered … wealthy … respected … healthy … admired … powerful … successful …strong … peaceful … fulfilled … happy … extraordinary… and more …

World-class experts will help you conquer fear, doubt, sabotage, and being broke … so you can be the person you truly want to be.

You won’t want to miss this amazing opportunity to have access to 23 inspirational and informational sessions that will change your life – yours absolutely free with no strings attached.  Below is a description of the telesummit – I hope you’ll join me in a celebration of WHO you are now and WHO you are meant to be!

Who Am I Not To Be Telesummit

An online festival of powerful transformation

We’ve gathered 23 renowned experts from all over the world to help you with your effortless transformation in a FREE online event, so that you can make measurable progress toward your goals, even with today’s uncertainties.

There are simple techniques and methods you can put into effect in your daily life to help you determine WHO you are right now and to help you create the person WHO you want to be.

The Who Am I Not To Be Telesummit begins September 26^th –it’s free and easy to sign up:

http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?Clk=4460885

When you sign-up today, you can listen to 23 individual sessions –all about one hour long – absolutely free – and get the breakthrough you need and want for greater success, a healthier lifestyle, better relationships, more wealth and abundance, heightened awareness of your body … whatever it is that you are looking for.

No matter WHO you want to be, there is an expert who will lead you through simple processes to help overcome your blocks and fears to allow you to be WHO you really are.

You can listen to these inspiring programs with our compliments:

* Who Am I Not To Be Radical & Extraordinary – Surpassing Average and Ordinary to Reach Radical and Extraordinary with best-selling author and charismatic teacher Lisa Nichols

* Who Am I Not to Be Happy – Learn to be Happy For No Reason With celebrated transformational leader and best-selling author Marci Shimoff

* Who Am I Not To Have Lasting Love – Creating & Renewing Lasting Love with Conscious Loving and relationship expert Katie Hendricks

* Who Am I Not To Be Empowered – Embrace Your Inner Beauty & Let the World Experience the Real You with former model/actress turned author & empowerment advocate Debra Gano

* Who Am I Not to Be the BEST Version of Myself with Successful entrepreneur and founder of Mind Movies, Natalie Ledwell

* Who Am I Not To Love Myself – A Radical Road to Self-Love and Miracles with motivational speaker, life coach and author Gabrielle Bernstein

* Who Am I Not To Be Abundant – The Vibration of Abundance with EFT Master Carol Look

* Who Am I Not To Live the Life of My Dreams with the founder Of Inspire Me Today, Gail Lynne Goodwin

* Who Am I Not To Be Healthy – Discover How to Heal Your Body With The Healing Codes Founder Dr. Alex Loyd

* Who Am I Not to Be Strong & Sexy with accomplished entrepreneur, highly-sought-after spokesperson, and life coach to celebrities and CEOs Forbes Riley

* Who Am I Not To Be Rich & Happy with energy healer and teacher Ann Taylor

* Who Was I Born To Be? – Allow Steve Olsher, “America’s Reinvention Expert,” to share with you his step-by-step guide to becoming the person you were meant to be

* Who Am I Not to Be Love – Start Living from the Vibration of Love with founder of Love or Above, intuitive healer  Christie Marie Sheldon

* Who Am I Not To Be Sensual – Discover the Power of Your  Sensuality with Elegant Femme founder Tara Marino

* Who Am I Not To Be Thin & Enjoy Weight Loss with psychotherapist and author Dr. Roberta Temes from The Hypnosis Network

* Who Am I Not To Be Wise – How To Be Clear in Your Mind and In Your Heart with speaker, author and founder of The Essence Method™ Susan Castle and Paul Bauer, founder of Dreams Alive

* Who Am I Not To Be Powerful – Why We Are Afraid To Step Into Our Power with in-demand life coach and transformational leader Christy Whitman

* Who Am I Not To Be Happy With Who I Am – Using Relationships to Figure Out Who You Are with relationship expert Cheri Valentine

* Who Am I Not To Be Unstoppable – Why You’ll Never Be Able to Stop Procrastinating Forever with mind-training genius and life-changing strategist Wendi Friesen

* Who Am I Not To Be Prosperous and Happy with Mary Jaksch, Zen master, psychotherapist, and author

* Who Am I Not Be a Miracle with author of A Book of Miracles -Inspiring True Stories of Healing, Gratitude, and Love Bernie Siegel, MD

* Who Am I Not To Take Care of Myself with spiritual coach and motivational speaker Terri Amos-Britt

* And much, much more …

All at no charge for you!

23 amazing experts will share their expertise with you!

We’ve scoured the world to discover the most talented teachers. They are world-renowned experts who have enhanced and changed the lives of thousands and thousands of individuals.

Their techniques and methods are easy to implement and proven to be powerful.

They are coming together in an extraordinary free online event to help you discover WHO you are and help you rise above the disappointments and chaos of our days and to enjoy a rewarding and satisfying life.

Click here  to see the 23 extraordinary teachers:  http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?Clk=4460885

Here’s what you can expect …

Each day at 9 pm ET / 6 pm PT beginning on Monday, September 26th, a new interview will be broadcast live for you to hear.

You will have 48 hours to listen to the presentation before it disappears. You can listen to each presentation as many times as you want within the 48-hour period. We’ll send you a reminder with links for each day’s call. It’s easy to listen in by phone or over the Internet. So there’s nothing to download and there are no complicated technical instructions.

http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?Clk=4460885

Please sign up today, and we invite you to share this with others. This online festival of powerful transformation is our gift to you and the world. Thank you!

?

We invite EVERYONE to come out to cheer these beautiful inside & out girls on the runway and see all of the newest BYOU ‘Be Your Own You’ empowered apparel for girls! We’ll have lots of giveaways too! Please join us! Directions for the Denver County Fair at the National Western Complex are below.

Here are the modeling details:  Due to the overwhelming response, to be able to be a model in the fashion show, you MUST be able to attend BOTH the Wednesday evening training/rehearsal from 6:30-8:00 PM and be at the show location on Thursday from 3:00-7:00 PM. Not all girls attending the Wednesday audition will be able to model in Thursday’s show (unless you are already scheduled be to a model) but ALL girls attending will receive runway training, a FREE one-month membership in the BYOU Be Your Own You Team Esteem Empowerment Program, and will be kept on file for future modeling opportunities.

Wed, July 27, 6:30-8:00 PM: Audition/Training/Rehearsal

LOCATION: BYOU Be Your Own You Store, 6770 S. Dawson Circle, Suite 800, Centennial, CO 80112; (303) 400-8888

Directions: From Arapahoe Road, take Jordan Rd SOUTH; make first LEFT on to S. Dawson Center, building will be on your LEFT in the Arapahoe Center building; BYOU Store will be around the other side facing Arapahoe Road (you can see the store when you are on Arapahoe between Parker Rd. & Jordan Rd)

Please bring: Paper & pen/pencil, BYOU shirt if you have one

Thursday, July 28, 3:00-7:00 PM: Fitting/Rehearsal/Fashion Show

LOCATION: Denver County Fair- The Fair is located at the National Western Complex, (I-70 to Brighton Blvd Exit –just east of I-25 - MAP) 4655 Humboldt St. Denver, CO 80216. Go to Gate 1 on the North side of the Hall.  After you park at the Fair, please go to front door of the Expo Hall and check in at the window labeled Presenters.  You will receive your pass into the Fair and directions to your stage.  Upon your arrival at the Fashion Pavilion, please check in with Aimee Newman with BYOU ‘Be Your Own You.’ Each model is allowed to bring 1-2 adults with her (and siblings); other guests coming to watch the 6 PM show must pay fair entrance fee (General admission-$10. Youth (5-12) $5. Children 4 and under, free.

Schedule:

3:00 -5:00 PM: Fitting, Rehearsal & Hair Styled by Sweet & Sassy – please come with clean hair

5:00-5:45 PM: Final Rehearsal on Stage

6:00 -7:00 PM: Fashion Show!

7:00-9:00 PM: Informal Modeling (Optional – we’d love to have some girls stay after to informally model at our booth!)

Please bring:

1.       Denim jeans and/or shorts (no cut offs or ultra-short shorts!)

2.       Black pants/leggings/skirts

3.       Black shoes/sandals (no flip flops or high heels!)

4.       Fun accessories or things that allow you to ‘be your own you’

5.       Water, snacks, and/or sack dinner

6.       A great attitude! This is going to be great fun!

We look forward to seeing you!!

With their permission, I’m sharing this article below, with the intention to bring awareness to parents of tweens/teens in the hopes of them taking a more preventative role in building the self-esteem in their children before they are faced with the consequences of not doing so.

Despite the bounty of information at its disposal, mainstream society still doesn’t exactly understand mental illness…

Eating disorders especially end up on the receiving end of frequent stereotyping and misunderstanding — a very dangerous phenomenon, considering how they can quickly turn fatal when left unchecked. College students comprise the condition’s largest demographic, so educating both students and the society they inhabit is crucial for their health, happiness and safety. By no means should one take this article as anything even remotely approaching medical advice. Rather, use it as an introduction to a few facts about bulimia, anorexia, binge eating disorder and EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified). From here, make further inquiries into the realities faced by sufferers and the people who love them. Making an effort to empathize with their plight might very well save lives someday.

1. It’s not just women who suffer: Eating disorders are often stereotyped as the exclusive realm of the ladyfolk — a dangerous mindset preventing male victims from receiving necessary psychotherapy. In reality, between 1% and 7% of college-age men suffer from anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder or EDNOS. But the numbers might actually sit higher than that, as stigmas unfairly painting the diseases as inherently feminine prevent them from admitting the problem and seeking out the mental help needed to survive.

2. The staggering majority of female college students diet: Ninety-one percent in fact, regardless of whether or not they genuinely need to be concerned about their weight. Not all diets are eating disorders, nor do all eating disorders manifest themselves as extreme dieting. Such conditions don’t always necessarily stem from a desire to be thin, of course, but overlap does occur. Some cases — though in no way every — do begin life as obsessive dieting, so it is relevant to look at statistics reflecting this.

3. College women are even more vulnerable to eating disorders than one would think: By this point, most people are aware that women between the ages of 17 and 24 are the most likely to be treated for and diagnosed with an eating disorder. In the general public, the statistic posits about 15% of this demographic suffers. But once college factors into the equation, it shoots up to 40%. Hardly surprising, considering the significant amount of stress involved — especially in cases where eating disorders manifest as a coping mechanism.

4. It’s often comorbid with other disorders: In college and the real world alike, eating disorders rarely wreak havoc alone. Anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder and EDNOS usually co-exist with depression, anxiety, substance abuse and/or compulsive issues. Oftentimes, the symptoms associated with these conditions are signs of something larger and more serious at play than just problems with diet and nutrition. Social stigmas against anything above a size 6 are only a very minute facet of a far more complex mental health problem.

5. Relationships impact eating disorders: And not just those where one or more partners spout off abusive rhetoric about body shape and size, either. Individuals in unhealthy relationships, whether they be overly clingy or outright physically traumatic, run a much higher risk of suffering from eating disorders than their peers enjoying more stable ones. The depression and anxiety associated with such unfortunate arrangements can trigger these conditions as a means of calming and forgetting the issue at hand.

6. Sexual assault and rape victims are more likely to develop eating disorders: This correlation exists outside of college campuses, however, but the demographic most vulnerable to eating disorders also happens to be more likely to end up sexually assaulted and raped. Thanks to an unforgiving society that shames and guilt trips female and male victims alike, anxiety and depression run rampant. So it makes sense that eating disorders would also plague them at a higher rate, as bulimia, anorexia and the like provide immediate (albeit unhealthy and nonviable) comfort for a persistent problem.

7. Binging and purging may correlate with previous suicide attempts: At least one study suggests that eating disorder victims engaging in a binge-and-purge pattern are more likely to have previously attempted suicide. Those with anorexia are more likely to suffer from suicidal thoughts. Again, a broader study sheds considerable light on the experiences of a smaller demographic. Because of the staggering amount of college students crushed beneath eating disorders, it makes sense that many of them would suffer from the accompanying suicidal ideas and behaviors as well.

8. Nutrition facts can actually trigger victims: Newsweek ran an article about eating disorders on campus in 2009, opening with a particularly poignant perspective most people — in college or otherwise — might never consider. For the eating disordered, seeing campuses publicly display nutrition facts run the risk of triggering trauma during the recovery period. Those whose conditions manifest themselves as obsessive dieting and calorie-counting are especially vulnerable, as exposure to such information reminds them of their destructive obsession. Harvard University removed calorie count cards from its dining halls out of respect for its disordered students.

9. A staggering amount of victims vomit, resort to extreme diets and/or use laxatives: Whether suffering from bulimia, anorexia, EDNOS or some combination thereof, 38% of college students (both male and female) have forced vomiting, used laxatives and/or extreme vomiting in order to lose weight. Researchers think an increased emphasis on combating obesity might influence their harsh decisions, although plenty of other issues — such as the previously-mentioned depression, anxiety and sexual violence victimhood factor into it as well.

10. A fringe eating disorder movement actively encourages the disease: Neither the Pro-Ana nor Pro-Mia movements typically go out and recruit members, but they do dangerously encourage disordered eating habits. Most — but not all — adherents are either in college or of college age, and the philosophy paints the truly horrifying disease as a lifestyle choice to be accepted rather than a mental illness to be treated. Communities both online and off trade “thinspiration” pictures, advice and encouragement for the fastest (and oftentimes most devastating) weight loss tips. It’s an extremely destructive mindset, one colleges must take more seriously and address more often.

11. Binge eating disorder is a real thing: Most individuals and organizations typically think of bulimia and anorexia when the subject of eating disorders crop up. But binge eating disorder — an often overlooked member of the family — can also cause serious problems during the college years (and beyond). Stemming from the exact same anxiety, depression and stress as conditions seeking thinness, BED instead involves taking in too much food as a coping mechanism.

12. Twenty is the most common age of onset: Around 86% of bulimics estimate they first experienced symptoms at age 20. Between the ages of 16 and 20, the number drops to 43%. By freshmen year, between 4.5% and 18% of female and .4% of male students start classes with a history of bulimia, compared to 1% for women with anorexia. Once again, the reasons behind why this happens are as varied as the victims themselves, though the dangers remain the same.

13. Anorexia and bulimia kill more than people realize: Between 10% and 25% of anorexia patients die because of complications arising from the condition. The full recovery rate of eating disorders in general sits at a sadly low 60%, with 20% only partially coming back and 20% never healing at all — or making only negligible progress.

14. Race might have an effect on how eating disorders manifest: Research published in the International Journal of Eating Disorders noted at least one difference in the way weight loss-related eating disorders occur in white and African-American female college students. Many members of the latter demographic typically struggled with real weight and size problems and suffered worse the more they absorbed themselves in mainstream society. Their Caucasian counterparts rarely experienced onset because of a preexisting weight condition. Both, however, frequently exhibited the signs and symptoms of depressive, anxiety or compulsive issues alongside their eating disorders.

15. Online intervention might be a valid prevention option: For the harried, college-aged eating disordered, an online psychiatric regimen might very well pique their recovery. Developed at Stanford University, the online program sought out high-risk women — specifically, college-aged women — and effectively prevented many from slipping into anorexia, bulimia or EDNOS. Participants with a BMI at 25 or over did not develop any eating disorder symptoms after 2 years, compared to 11.9% of their peers. Amongst women already suffering the early stages, 14% ended up diagnosed with an eating disorder within 2 years, compared to 30% of nonparticipants. The program, consisting of reading materials, moderated discussions and daily journals, might very well fulfill a valuable role on college campuses and beyond.

As the CEO of BYOU ‘Be Your Own You,’ I always look for opportunities for tween and teens girls to do fun and amazing things. Recently we were contacted by the U.S. Department of Health to partner with them for a dance contest for their Best Bones Forever! (BBF) campaign, which is a national bone health campaign led by the U.S. Department  of Health and Human Services’ Office on Women’s Health. The campaign targets girls ages 9-14 to build bone strength “from the inside out”  by encouraging  increased calcium and vitamin D consumption and physical activity. Many of you are aware of my mission to ‘empower girls from the inside out,’ so you can see the synergy in this partnership!

So when they asked BYOU to partner with them on their contest for girls, we were very excited! Today, Best Bones Forever! and teen pop recording group Savvy, who is featured in the TV show The Wannabes aired in 92 countries and on Radio Disney, announced the launch of the Let’s Dance Contest. With a nod to First Lady Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move! campaign, the goal is to get girls moving and help them build strong bones, all while having fun with their friends.

Girls across the country are invited to form a group with their BFFs (best friends forever), choreograph a dance routine to one of five Savvy songs, record themselves doing the routine, then upload the video to the contest website, www.bbfletsdance.com. The winning team will win a trip to appear in a Savvy music video, and EACH WEEK a featured video will be selected where every participant will win a fun prize from girls’ self-esteem company BYOU Be Your Own You! 

“The Let’s Dance contest is going to be awesome,” says GiGi LeMaire, 14, of Savvy. “We want all girls, whether they’re trained dancers or they like to dance just for fun, to get involved and show us what they’ve got!”

While the Let’s Dance Contest is all about having fun, it’s also meant to help girls get active.  “To stay healthy and build strong bones, girls need an hour of physical activity each day, but that doesn’t just mean they have to hit the gym or hop on a treadmill,” says Savvy’s Shaylen Carroll. “Many other activities, like yoga, cheerleading, soccer, figure skating—and, of course, dancing—count, too. That’s why this contest is so great—as girls practice their routines, they’ll be getting the physical activity they need without even realizing it! “

Videos for the Best Bones Forever! Let’s Dance Contest featuring Savvy kicks will be accepted through August 10, 2011 and winners will be announced on August 27, 2011. For more information and to upload videos, visit www.bbfletsdance.com.

For more information on the BBF campaign, visit the website for girls at www.bestbonesforever.gov or for parents at www.bestbonesforever.gov/parents.

A father plays a very important role in a young girl’s life – studies show that girls who have positive relationships with their dads have higher self-esteem and make make more responsible relationship choices later in life. Fathers are initially responsible in establishing and building that bond with their daughter, but girls also assist in building that relationship, especially as they grow older. As a girl moves into her preteen and teen years, her father may feel uncertain as to how to now relate to this budding young lady in his life. When before just playing silly games or having goofy moments were enough to engage her, she now rolls her eyes and walks into the other room. What’s a dad to do??

Girls, it’s important for both you and your dad that you stay connected during this important time in your life, even though you may not always feel like it. Look for ways to spend time with him – just you and him, share with him what’s going on in your life, discuss thoughts/ideas/goals, get his opinion on things while at the same time you sharing yours, resist the urge to pull away when you don’t feel he understands you, and most of all, tell him often how special he is to you.

In honor of Father’s Day this month, I’d like to hear from you on what makes your dad special – to you! How is he unique in your eyes, what’s your favorite thing about him, what are some things he’s taught you that you’d like to thank him for? What I love about my dad is his zest for life and how he shared with me his sense of adventure. My dad exposed me to many unusual things and often pushed me to do things out of my comfort zone, and I really want to thank him for the ‘backbone’ he gave me – I feel it’s had a lot to do with where I am now.

ENTER YOUR COMMENT BELOW FOR A CHANCE TO WIN! A random winner will be chosen to win one of the cute BYOU “Be Your Own You” logo canvas tote bags! I love these bags and take one with me wherever I go. Contest closes June 30. Can’t wait to see WHAT MAKES YOUR DAD SPECIAL TO YOU!

"It's What's Inside That Counts" - Beauty's Secret (Heartlight Girls Book 1)

Recently I had an opportunity to spend some extended quality time with my mom. She lives in another state so it was a special treat for both of us.  What I most enjoyed was seeing the shift that had taken place within her, a new peacefulness I had not seen before. Challenged by many years of anxiety and emotional pain due to a lifetime of low self-worth, she had lived in two worlds – the world she presented externally and the other she lived internally. Now, through a gradual evolution of self, it seems these two worlds have merged, offering her much-welcome congruency and peace…and for that, I could not be happier.

And so I wonder, what could her life have been like had she found this peace earlier? Or what would her life be like next week or next year if she had never found it? And what would my childhood have been like had she had this stronger sense of self that she could’ve role modeled to her children?

My own journey of self-love and respect didn’t begin until my late 30’s, and was (unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your perspective!) self-taught through challenges and life-threatening experiences (to hear more of this journey, watch my video HERE). My mission, and what I feel is my purpose in life, is fueled by the passion to help as many girls as possible to have healthier and less dramatic ways to learn to love and respect themselves – including helping mothers who can then themselves be happy, balanced, and emotionally-healthy role models for their daughters.

So on this upcoming holiday where we honor our ever-important and deserving mothers, I urge every mother to also honor herself, and not just on Mother’s Day, but every day – and in doing so, you will also teach your daughter a very important life lesson. As mothers, we want the best for our family, of course; yet that is often translated into giving so much of ourselves that who we are and what we need gets neglected. We feel overwhelmed, our issues remain unresolved, we struggle with our own feelings of disconnect and inadequacy, and very often, at some point we don’t even recognize ourselves anymore. How can we be good for our family if we are not good for ourselves?

Know what’s important to you. Check in. Find ways you can find yourself. Ask for help. And take time to ask yourself the important questions (those are not the “What shall I make for dinner” questions), and then be sure to listen for the answers. My daughter has accepted the fact that her mommy needs “quiet time” even when she’d much rather prefer me to be attentive to her. Any guilt I have about doing this is alleviated when I remind myself how important this is, for by taking care of me helps me to be a healthier caretaker and role model for her.

This Mother’s Day, I send my love, appreciation, blessings, and utmost respect to all mothers -and to my own special mom, know how proud I am of you and how much I will always love you.

Denver-area Moms! Celebrate Mother’s Day with a special girl(s) in your life! Join us Saturday, May 7, from 1:30-4:30 pm at the Brown Palace for a “Mommy & Me Tea: A Mother/Daughter Self-Esteem Experience!” CLICK HERE for more information and to register.

Having heard Demi’s name mentioned in the news, my eight-year-old daughter’s ears perked up and she exclaimed, “I love Demi Lovato! What are they saying about her?” Not wanting to completely taint my daughter’s image of this perpetually big-grinned teen star, I explained to her that Demi struggles with feelings of low self-worth and will sometimes do harmful and negative things to herself. My daughter, finding it difficult to understand how this confident-appearing favorite of hers could ever suffer from low self-esteem, responded, “But, Mom, she always looks so happy and sure of herself!”

 Demi’s disclosure on her issues is yet another example that “having it all” does not guarantee happiness or love for ourselves. I found that out during the years I personally spent working in the modeling and acting industries, and learned that true feelings of self-worth can only come from within (to hear the whole story, click here). This is the message I so passionately teach our girls.

Many don’t yet know what cutting is, so I wanted to bring awareness of what it is and offer preventative measures so it doesn’t become an issue in YOUR life.

Much like the “Mean Girl” trend, cutting is  increasing as an unhealthy self-harmful “trendy” behavior, especially with girls. Self-harm typically starts at about age 14, but more cases of kids as young as 11 or 12 doing it show up daily. As more and more kids become aware of it, more kids are trying it.

When a girl “cuts” herself, typically it is self-inflicted straight-line cuts with a sharp object, often parallel like railroad ties, carved into forearm, upper arms, and sometimes the legs. Some girls cut words into themselves, like if they’re having body image issues, they may cut the word ‘fat,’ or if they’re having trouble at school, it may be ‘stupid,’ ‘loser,’ or a big ‘L.’

Self-injury is a coping strategy for feelings of low self-worth and unhappiness. Parents often mistake cutting for suicidal behavior, but psychiatrists believe that self-injury has an effect similar to cocaine and other drugs that release endorphins to create a feel-good feeling. Children in emotional pain cause physical external pain to themselves so they won’t feel their internal pain as much.

And much like a drug addition, cutting typically escalates over time, with more frequent episodes and more cuts each time, because it takes more cutting to get the same relief.

Self-injury begins as a defense against what’s going on in a child’s internal and external life. If emotions and situations feel overwhelming, if they have failed in an area of their lives, of if they struggle for self-identity, this is a way to get “control” and blunt their emotional pain. Very often, girls who self-harm also have an eating disorder and tend to be sensitive, perfectionists, and overachievers.

Our work as mentors of children, and my mission in the work I do with girls, is preventative. Just like keeping our bodies healthy daily with good sleep and nutrition to ward off sickness, we want to daily nurture our own/our child’s self-esteem. And in this case, little things CAN make a difference!

We make choices every day how we handle difficult situation and how to help our children cope with the pain they are experiencing. If a child tells us she feels hurt for others teasing her, we can tell her that she is too sensitive and needs to get on with things, or we can listen to her and see what it is others are saying which is causing her pain. If she says she is unhappy or feels unloved, we can tell her to stop complaining and appreciate all the good things, or we can ask her to explain why and learn from her. If she tells us she feels judged by the comments we make, we can tell her she takes things too personally, or we can listen to her and try to be more accepting and less judgmental.

Be mindful and aware every day. Your responses to what may seem to you like a trivial thing could lead to either empowering her or leading her to seek other ways to numb her pain. Don’t wait to be proactive until she experiences mood changes like depression or anxiety, out-of-control behavior, changes in relationships, communication, and school performance – by then, she is suffering and in pain, and looking for ways to cope with that pain.

Children face so much today, and their emotional capacity to handle things is still immature and vulnerable. Whether they act like it or not, every child needs a strong support system to empower them “from the inside out.” 

It’s getting to be that time of year again when we give up some play time to scramble to get ready for back-to-school. With all the busy preparations, don’t forget the most important one you can do for your child is to begin a new school year with a strong sence of self and healthy self-esteem. With a child being bullied every 7 minutes today in our schools, this proactive element could never be more essential!

To help you empower your daughter and build her self-esteem, I invite you to join me on a free teleclass I’ve been asked to give by the Global TeleClass Network.  I’m honored to be featured along side such inspirational legends as Mark Victor Hansen, T. Harv Eker, Bob Proctor and many others. Below is a description of my class on August 25 – be sure to sign up early as space is limited! And also check out all the other classes offered – all free for you to enjoy from the comfort of your home.

Stay posted as Heartlight Girls brings you more for back-to-school to be “empowered from the inside out!”