The other day I blogged about the Ralph Lauren ad that was getting some attention that showed a skeletal-sized model (see my October 8 post) because I was so triggered by what I had experienced in my years in the modeling industry. This morning on the Today Show, that model, Filippa Hamilton, a size 4, announced she was fired from her 8 year career with Ralph Lauren because she was "too fat." Her termination actually took place last April, but she decided to come forward with it when this photoshopped ad appeared of her - it’s been recently exposed that her head was used on another model’s (very skinny) body.

( To see Filippa’s appearance on the Today Show and to read more, click here )

In speaking to young girls about the current and harmful trend of "mean girls" and bullying, I often admit  how well I can identify with what is going on due to my years in the very competitive modeling industry and some of the experiences I had with mean girls. Just like the girls who bully other girls today in our schools, the bullies of the modeling industry did so due to low feeling of self-worth. The modeling industry is brutal on a girl’s/woman’s self-esteem…can you imagine being a size 4 or 6 and constantly told you are too fat? As models, we would get criticized on a daily basis for one physical "flaw" or another. I learned from the bottom up how to build my self-esteem, and that’s why I’m so passionate about teaching it to others through my speaking and books at Heartlight Girls!

I believe the fault lies with the designers and advertisers who put tremendous, unrealistic pressures on the models, which in turn, filters down to the young girls who want to emulate these models. Thank you, Filippa, for speaking up. If enough of us speak up, the world will pay attention! Would love to hear your comments too, please leave one below!

As a former model, I cannot resist commenting on the recent Ralph Lauren ad portraying an ultra-ultra-thin model that is causing some uproar. Advertisers using models who look like they’re starving (they probably are) teamed with Photoshop-crazy designers are sending out such an unhealthy message to our girls…it’s no wonder cases of eating disorders are what they are.

One thing I never quite understood in the modeling industry was the way top designers "demanded" they have super skinny models. Yes, I know they create their designs in "sample" size and clothes photograph better on a more lean figure, but lean and healthy is one thing…emaciated and skeletal is another. When working in the bigger markets, it was constantly chirped in my ear from my agents to "lose weight" (I was a size 6)…there were designers I just could not work for because I was "too big" and refused to starve myself. I made many sacrifices to work in that industry, but my health and life was not something I was willing to jeopardize.

The ironic thing is that consumers do not appreciate the super skinny the way the designers do. So often after a fashion show I would hear women in the audience commenting how they simply cannot relate to the bone-thin models and therefore had no interest in the clothes. By designers pushing the envelope they way they did with this Ralph Lauren ad, they lose our respect, especially as we as women become more empowered in our true beauty, and concerned for our girls as they face dangerous pressures we never even imagined facing in our vulnerable years. I guess that’s why after years and years of being in that industry I felt compelled to do something proactive and founded Heartlight Girls, teaching girls that "it’s what’s inside that counts!"

This is a great excerpt from: http://shine.yahoo.com/event/fallbeauty/image-of-ultra-thin-ralph-lauren-model-sparks-outrage-521480/): The U.S. isn’t the only place where advertisers are feeling the public backlash over retouching claims. Overseas, a recent Olay ad featuring a virtually wrinkle-free 59-year-old Twiggy caused such an uproar in the UK that the British Parliament recently proposed outlawing retouching in advertisements aimed at teenagers. The movement was initiated by the nation’s Liberal Democrats, whose leader on the issue, Jo Swinson, said:

"Today’s unrealistic idea of what is beautiful means that young girls are under more pressure now than they were even five years ago. Airbrushing means that adverts contain completely unattainable images that no one can live up to in real life. We need to help protect children from these pressures and we need to make a start by banning airbrushing in adverts aimed at them. The focus on women’s appearance has got out of hand - no one really has perfect skin, perfect hair and a perfect figure, but women and young girls increasingly feel that nothing less than thin and perfect will do."

Did you know that approximately 90% of kids will experience some form of bullying this school year? Ouch! What’s happening??? When did it suddenly become “cool” to be mean? While “Mean Girls” may think they’re cool, we here at Heartlight Girls are here to remind you that they are NOT cool…and NOT beautiful! Girls who bully are really suffering from low self-esteem, and use bullying tactics to cover it up. It’s important to remember this if you are the victim of bullying (or your daughter is). Remind yourself that the mean comments and manipulative games have nothing to do with YOU, it‘s about THEM and their insecurities. Bullying is the sign of a dim Heartlight, and when someone’s Heartlight is dim, they will try really hard to dim your light too (or steal some of your beautiful bright light!) So protect yourself, Heartlight Girls, from the “dimmers” and keep your Heartlight bright! Be sure to do your Heartlight Meditation every day (it’s at the back of Beauty’s Secret).

As the Young Authors League Director for the CIPA Education and Literacy Foundation, I organized a short-story writing contest this past spring for 4^th & 5^th grade students of the Cherry Creek School District in Denver.  Always looking to bring out the inspirational side of kids, I selected the theme, “Making the World a Better Place,” thinking the stories would be based on human, heart-warming aspects, such as kindness, helping others, etc., (you know, Heartlight Girl themes). While we did receive some fabulous stories like this, I was truly surprised that the majority of stories were about about litter, recycling, and pollution. I am all about cleaning up our Earth (I’m a big recycler!), but have to admit, a slight groan would escape me when I saw I had to read yet another story on this topic…that is, until a powerful experience on the beach this past August changed my perspective…

Read the rest of this entry »

A MUST on your back-to-school list is healthy self-esteem! Bullying in schools has become a real problem, often with devastating long-term effects! Make yourself bully-proof by attending a Heartlight Girls Self-Esteem Empowerment Workshop and return to school with your Heartlight shining bright! The next one is taking place this Saturday, August 15, in West Michigan. For info and to find out about Debra’s West Michigan media appearances, click here.

To bring a Heartlight Girls Self-Esteem Workshop to your school, church, library, or organization, please contact booking manager Nancy Hansen Zuschlag at nhzgreentri@hotmail.com.

Stay tuned to Debra’s blog for more tips on staying bully-proof this school year! And be sure you sign up for our free newsletter for more infomation!