Archive for June, 2009

Recently the formerly popular store Abercrombie & Fitch got in some trouble when an employee was allegedly moved from a sales job to a stockroom post — away from the eyes of shoppers — after her managers discovered she has a prosthetic arm. Apparently they felt it violated the company’s very strict "look policy." And it’s not the first time they’ve been called on their prejudices. Read an interesting article on it here: bit.ly/2JewJ.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always felt that A&F’s provacative marketing to our youth was way out of line, contributing to so many of the issues we discuss here at Heartlight Girls – eating disorders, early sexualization of our youth, focusing externally for worth, etc. Maybe A&F’s time is up as we call them (and other advertisers) on the unhealthy messages they send our kids, all to fuel their money-making machines. Thank goodness, what goes around, comes around…

 A very Happy Father’s Day to all Heartlight dads! While we talk a lot about the role moms play in a girl’s life, we also want to acknowledge the very important role dads play, too.

Dads, your positive influence in your daughter’s life is essential to her self-esteem and her future relationships. In my book, Beauty’s Secret, A Girl’s Discovery of Inner Beauty, the main character’s dad innocently teases her about her eyes, only to have Beauty become self-conscious about them, especially in the self-questioning teenage years. I wrote this in because my dad liked (and still does!) to tease me, it’s just his way fo relating, as it is with so many dads. But often I believed it as truth, especially when the insecurities rose. It was only when I learned my own truth of who I truly am that I was able to step back from this and see it was his way of showing his love. My goal with girls is to have them learn this same truth about themselves at a much younger age than I did, so they don’t have to carry any false belief (whether it be planted from a parent, teacher, or peer) about themselves into adulthood.

So, dads, please know that your daughter is paying attention to everything you say and do, and that you mean the world to her (even though she may not act like it sometimes!) By helping her to build her self-worth though the formative years, you help her to make future wise choices and set her up for a lifetime of inner security and happiness. And for that, we thank you, and for your committment to your daughter’s well-being. And Heartlight Girls, if you can, give your dad an extra big hug this Father’s Day! My dad lives in another state, so I’m sending him an energetic hug and saying, "Love you Dad! And thanks for the lessons!"

The other evening around 8:00 PM, my 7-year-old daughter and I sat down to watch a DVD of the American Girl movie "Chrissa" (which I highly recommend, it’s about school bullying). To get the TV on the right channel for the DVD,  we had to travel through a few channels. We were stopped in our tracks as we saw, on a Primetime station, two women dressed in skimpy leopard-print lingerie and fishnet stockings (with camera close-ups!), slithering and handcuffing another women (un)dressed even more provocatively on a stage (it was a magic show). 

I would’ve been shocked to see this at 2:00 AM, yet to see this with my daughter at 8:00 PM in the evening not only angered me, but actually saddened me. I was able to stand there with my daughter and talk her through it, but I thought about all the girls out there (and boys, it’s confusing for them too!) who didn’t have parents present or concerned enough to buffer and/or clarify what they were seeing. We, as adults, can discern time and place appropriateness of such things, yet it’s no wonder our girls, who see similar wardrobes on their Barbie and Bratz dolls, are desensitized to the blatant sexuality of it all. And then they want to copy the look in their own wardrobes! And worse yet, the behavior. And to top it off, even our favorable sweet characters like Dora the Explorer and Strawberry Shortcake are now getting sexy new makeovers. Read the rest of this entry »

Welcome! Heartlight Girls is getting a "makeover"! Please visit this site regularly for all kinds of new features, as we discuss issues, share thoughts, announce events, make recommendations, and give you a chance to participate! Bookmark this site as a resource for self-esteem issues, girls and women’s empowerment, parenting, and inspiration. We looking forward to our on-going relationship with you, as we work together to build the self-esteem of our youth.

Many Blessings!

Debra Gano,

CEO & Founder of Heartlight Girls and Best-Selling Author of Beauty’s Secret, A Girl’s Discovery of Inner Beauty